Engineer Tapes Over Webcam, Uses One Password For Everything
“I put tape over my webcam because I care about privacy. I also use the same password for my bank, my email and an aquarium fish forum. The fish forum got hacked. The tape is still there.”
Confess it out loud. Anonymously!
Tap the booth and say what you did (or what you let the AI do). It goes up as text, with no name attached, for everyone to judge.
Tap to start. You get 60 seconds.
Nothing coming to mind? Try the time you tested in prod.
This week in the booth
- Confessions absolved today
- Friday deploys confessed
- Most committed sin
- Times someone said “it worked locally”
- Recordings kept after transcription
Numbers are made up. The sins are real.
What did you just say?
Judge them one by oneSwipe right to absolve, left to burn.
Burndown Chart Only Goes Up, Rebranded As A Framework
“Our burndown chart goes up. Every sprint. It's a burn-up chart now. I told leadership it's a new agile framework. They asked for a slide. I made the slide.”
CISO's Own Laptop Hasn't Been Updated In Two Years
“I'm the CISO. I send the 'please update your devices' email every month. My laptop hasn't been updated in two years. It works. I'm scared of what happens if I restart it.”
Slack Was Supposed To Kill Email, Now Announces Emails
“I was supposed to kill email. Now people send me a message that says 'just sent you an email.' And then a thumbs up when you've read the email. I'm a doorbell for email.”
Doomer Says AI Ends The World In Two Years, Signs Up For Q3 On-Call
“I told standup that AI ends the world in two years. Then I took the on-call rotation for next quarter. My scrum master asked how I believe both. Honestly, doom has a backlog too.”
Vibe Coder With 4,000 Paying Users Asked What An API Is
“I vibe coded an app with four thousand paying users. An investor asked what our API does. I don't know what an API is. I said 'vibes' and they wrote it down.”
Friday Deploy, Pager Goes Off, Surprised Pikachu Face Becomes Holiday Card
“I deployed at 5pm on a Friday, went home and made the surprised Pikachu face when the pager went off. My partner took a photo. It's our holiday card this year.”
Worker In 312 Slack Channels Has Muted 311
“I'm in three hundred and twelve Slack channels. I've muted three hundred and eleven. The one I haven't muted is #free-food. I have my priorities.”
Senior Dev's Whole Career Started With MySpace Top 8 Revenge
“In 2006 I dropped my best friend from my MySpace Top 8 over a lunch argument. Then I learned HTML to make my profile glitter at them. That's my entire career origin story.”
Salesforce Knows Its Numbers Get Made Up On Friday Afternoons
“It took eighteen months and four consultants to set me up. The sales team keeps their real pipeline in a spreadsheet and updates me on Friday afternoons with numbers they make up.”
Definition Of Done Has 19 Checkboxes, Dev Has Read Three
“Our definition of done has nineteen checkboxes. I tick all of them on every ticket. I've read three. One of them is 'code compiles.'”
Ping-Pong Table Bought For Culture Is Now A Standing Desk
“We bought a ping-pong table to build culture. Nobody has ever played. It's where the monitors live now. It's the most expensive standing desk in the city.”